The classes for the next semester are now available, I am not sure if I should take Communication 1A or not. I mean, it is a great class to improve my communication, regarding my teacher and another guy I met last semester.
Improve my communication… it is all that I need! Last class, my teacher from Design class was talking about courses related to design, and how we get there. During the class, she explained how long is the path that I still have to go to become an architect in this country. She also said something that made me think a lot. I need to learn how to defend my projects. There will be people in my way who won’t agree with me. I need to defend my self.
This is exactly what I need! I am so shy that I start sweating just if I think about the possibility of talking in public. She said that Communication 1A would be great for people like me. But there is a problem: I don’t need communication 1A in my curriculum to finish college, and I feel so late (understand late as old) that I want to finish this as soon as possible.
What should I do?
I think that I know already. I am learning for life, and Communication 1A would be great.
…But, at the same time, I see myself finishing the university in my late thirties and
I hate it. What is the big problem with that? Am I afraid to be the oldest guy in class, and feel humiliated, dumb, and old, surrounded by youngest? Yes.
Ok, while I am writing this, I feel that I am already convinced that I want and I have to take Communication 1A. It felt so stupid to write this….
It will improve my Communication for life, not only for college. It will help me to fight against my fear of talking in public, of expressing myself and my feelings to the world.
I will take Communication 1A.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Halloween 2010
Last Saturday I want to a Halloween party at Liz’s house, a Brazilian friend that we have here in California. She lives in a big house in Oakland Hills. I was convicted that I would drink a lot and party hard, giving me a break from my busy routine of studying and working. Dennis stayed at home because he is never on the mood of partying hard and also because he had a bad trout. I totally understand that.
I decided to invite Brandon, my new friend, because I didn’t see him for a while. We both arrived at Liz’s house with Brandon’s boyfriend, Allan, who didn’t stay long because he had to work earlier in the next day.
The party was great! I had a chance to see many people that I didn’t see for a long time. I met Deia’s boyfriend (really cute by the way) and Deia and I talked a lot, as good friends we are.
Because this party supposes to be a break from my routine, I drank a lot. Not as I use to drink during the past weekends, but a lot more. I got so drunk that I lost track of time. I party, I dance, I talked, and I laugh. Yeah… I laugh a lot. I felt really good, surrounding by nice people and doing something I that I didn’t do for a long time.
When I realized, it was around 5am already, and I had no idea what time I arrived at home.
Amanda called a taxi and we (Amanda, Brandon, and me) went home totally satisfied. I slept inside of the taxi and the taxi driver actually had to wake me up! I was wasted.
The next day, I woke up at 12:30pm and stayed in bed until 6pm. I watched a movie, posted the photos from the party on Facebook, and watched almost a whole season of American Dad on Netflix.
At six o’clock, I moved my dead body from the bed to the sofa, and stayed there the rest of the day. Dennis and I had a few lazy hours together getting out of the sofa only to give candy to the kids who knocked our door, and grabbing something to drink on the way back to the sofa. I used this time to show Dennis the photos from the party and watch more American Dad. Am I addictive?
When Dennis decided to go to the bed, I decided to stay and finish the current episode, but I ended up sleeping in the sofa by myself, and woke up at 11pm to go to the bed.
My percent of productivity on Sunday was negative 25% because I am pretty sure that American Dad ate a piece of my brain after too much episodes.
That’s why I can’t go out so often anymore; I am becoming old!!! I usually party a lot in the past, but now with my routine (and this age: 28… I know… in a body of 25 and a mind of 30) I can’t party hard every weekend anymore.
Today I called Amanda to make sure I remember everything I did. No hazardous, no damage. It was a perfect Halloween. It was exactly what I needed.
I decided to invite Brandon, my new friend, because I didn’t see him for a while. We both arrived at Liz’s house with Brandon’s boyfriend, Allan, who didn’t stay long because he had to work earlier in the next day.
The party was great! I had a chance to see many people that I didn’t see for a long time. I met Deia’s boyfriend (really cute by the way) and Deia and I talked a lot, as good friends we are.
Because this party supposes to be a break from my routine, I drank a lot. Not as I use to drink during the past weekends, but a lot more. I got so drunk that I lost track of time. I party, I dance, I talked, and I laugh. Yeah… I laugh a lot. I felt really good, surrounding by nice people and doing something I that I didn’t do for a long time.
When I realized, it was around 5am already, and I had no idea what time I arrived at home.
Amanda called a taxi and we (Amanda, Brandon, and me) went home totally satisfied. I slept inside of the taxi and the taxi driver actually had to wake me up! I was wasted.
The next day, I woke up at 12:30pm and stayed in bed until 6pm. I watched a movie, posted the photos from the party on Facebook, and watched almost a whole season of American Dad on Netflix.
At six o’clock, I moved my dead body from the bed to the sofa, and stayed there the rest of the day. Dennis and I had a few lazy hours together getting out of the sofa only to give candy to the kids who knocked our door, and grabbing something to drink on the way back to the sofa. I used this time to show Dennis the photos from the party and watch more American Dad. Am I addictive?
When Dennis decided to go to the bed, I decided to stay and finish the current episode, but I ended up sleeping in the sofa by myself, and woke up at 11pm to go to the bed.
My percent of productivity on Sunday was negative 25% because I am pretty sure that American Dad ate a piece of my brain after too much episodes.
That’s why I can’t go out so often anymore; I am becoming old!!! I usually party a lot in the past, but now with my routine (and this age: 28… I know… in a body of 25 and a mind of 30) I can’t party hard every weekend anymore.
Today I called Amanda to make sure I remember everything I did. No hazardous, no damage. It was a perfect Halloween. It was exactly what I needed.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Fall 2010
My classes started a few weeks ago and I’m already worried about not getting things done. I have to keep in my mind that I need good grades to go to UCB, but I feel very overwhelmed and afraid to get a C. I’m tanking five classes in this fall, 15 units, two campuses, and a lot of new experiences. I spend my mornings from Monday to Thursday at Berkeley City College, and my afternoons from Monday to Wednesday at Laney College. It’s not just it! I also have classes Saturday morning at BCC. Adding this to the minimum social life I’m trying to have, plus 20 hours of weekly work, I wonder where is the time to study for those classes. This will be so far the hardest semester ever here in the USA.
My week starts with Pre Calculus with Mrs. Elizabeth, a teacher who came from France, and I’m already not sure if she’s good or not. Mrs. Elizabeth arrives almost every time a few minutes late, and she seems to come straight from the street, not having time to go to her office to get the class’s name list. Her way of teaching is a little confuse because she always commits little mistakes in basic stuff. Last class I was wondering with she really knows what she’s doing. I also feel that the rest of the students think the same about her. There is a nice girl who sits beside me and always leaves the class mad with the teacher.
After eat a sandwich that I brought from home, I’m ready for my Perspective, Shades, and Shadows class, or just E/AT 35, at Laney. This is so far the scariest class of this semester. The teacher is really nice, but I was so lost in that class for the first couple of weeks. I should take another drawing class before starts this one, but since I did a fast, intense, little, course in Brazil about drawing, I said to myself (and to the counseling) that I knew what I was doing. For now, I can say that it’s getting better, but I still have a lot to learn. Mr. Simon, the teacher, is really making me comfortable to try it. He’s calm, always likeable, and patience with his students. I met this nice guy whom his name I still can’t pronounce (I know, it’s a shame) and he helped me a lot during the first classes when I looked like a lost kid in a crowed place or something like that.
On Tuesdays, it’s time for my English 1A class, the first English class I’m taking with Americans. Actually, this class seems a lot like the Writing class I was taking last semester, the difference is a few students who are really Americans, and the teacher, who isn’t so nice like the last one. The teacher, Mr. Sommer, is a cute young guy who tries to be really tough. I didn’t have a good impression of him on the first day of class because he arrived already demanding people who didn’t enroll to the class leave immediately, exactly like that, with no good morning, no hi, no anything. The class is going “ok” for now, but I gave my first essay to an American girl to take a look and we founded out a lot of grammar errors, so I can’t tell how I’ll be doing yet.
I also enrolled to this class called Introduction to Professional Design, once a week every Tuesday’s afternoon, and so far I didn’t like it. I was really excited about this class on the beginning because I though I would learn a lot, but so far the teacher, Mrs. Eleene, just ask us to ready a book with very very very basic stuff and spent the class summarizing it. It’s really hard to focus in this class. Am I too advanced to this class? I don’t think so, but I can tell already the class is really boring.
The last class is Geometry, every Saturday morning from 9 to 12. The teacher, Mrs. Mary, is really nice, and I’m learning basic stuff too, but I like it because I loved my geometry classes in Brazil. The class is all mixed up with all kind of different students; old women, teenagers, etc. nobody is really in the mood to socialize in a Saturday morning during a math class, so I didn’t meet anybody yet. The fact that it’s on Saturday morning is turning my head 360ยบ. It doesn’t feel like Saturday at all, I feel like my Saturdays are now my Fridays, and when I realize it’s already Sunday, and I feel like I didn’t have time to study at all.
Since I’m still addicted to work out, I’m going to the gym five times a week, every morning, most of the time before class. I also go on Fridays, and since I’m close to college, I go there just to study by myself. I still have a problem to study at home, with the dogs, the cleaning, the distractions, work, and Dennis.
Talking about Dennis, he’s ok, I think. I feel we’re not so “together” anymore because of the little time I spend at home now and also another things. He cooks almost every evening waiting for me to have dinner together. It’s cute. His work seems the same for me, but now he’s also helping me with my EBay stuff, selecting photos and sometimes even shipping things out.
I decided do not pay much attention to my social life this semester, but I just can’t. I mean, I think I’m doing fine and more concentrated in studying more than socializing, but I feel that this is not enough. I’m building a nice social life with some guys from Berkeley, and I’m changing the gym to see if I can work out with more interesting people. But I still have in my mind that this will be my hardest semester and I will not fail.
If I survive this moment of my life, I’ll come back to write more.
My week starts with Pre Calculus with Mrs. Elizabeth, a teacher who came from France, and I’m already not sure if she’s good or not. Mrs. Elizabeth arrives almost every time a few minutes late, and she seems to come straight from the street, not having time to go to her office to get the class’s name list. Her way of teaching is a little confuse because she always commits little mistakes in basic stuff. Last class I was wondering with she really knows what she’s doing. I also feel that the rest of the students think the same about her. There is a nice girl who sits beside me and always leaves the class mad with the teacher.
After eat a sandwich that I brought from home, I’m ready for my Perspective, Shades, and Shadows class, or just E/AT 35, at Laney. This is so far the scariest class of this semester. The teacher is really nice, but I was so lost in that class for the first couple of weeks. I should take another drawing class before starts this one, but since I did a fast, intense, little, course in Brazil about drawing, I said to myself (and to the counseling) that I knew what I was doing. For now, I can say that it’s getting better, but I still have a lot to learn. Mr. Simon, the teacher, is really making me comfortable to try it. He’s calm, always likeable, and patience with his students. I met this nice guy whom his name I still can’t pronounce (I know, it’s a shame) and he helped me a lot during the first classes when I looked like a lost kid in a crowed place or something like that.
On Tuesdays, it’s time for my English 1A class, the first English class I’m taking with Americans. Actually, this class seems a lot like the Writing class I was taking last semester, the difference is a few students who are really Americans, and the teacher, who isn’t so nice like the last one. The teacher, Mr. Sommer, is a cute young guy who tries to be really tough. I didn’t have a good impression of him on the first day of class because he arrived already demanding people who didn’t enroll to the class leave immediately, exactly like that, with no good morning, no hi, no anything. The class is going “ok” for now, but I gave my first essay to an American girl to take a look and we founded out a lot of grammar errors, so I can’t tell how I’ll be doing yet.
I also enrolled to this class called Introduction to Professional Design, once a week every Tuesday’s afternoon, and so far I didn’t like it. I was really excited about this class on the beginning because I though I would learn a lot, but so far the teacher, Mrs. Eleene, just ask us to ready a book with very very very basic stuff and spent the class summarizing it. It’s really hard to focus in this class. Am I too advanced to this class? I don’t think so, but I can tell already the class is really boring.
The last class is Geometry, every Saturday morning from 9 to 12. The teacher, Mrs. Mary, is really nice, and I’m learning basic stuff too, but I like it because I loved my geometry classes in Brazil. The class is all mixed up with all kind of different students; old women, teenagers, etc. nobody is really in the mood to socialize in a Saturday morning during a math class, so I didn’t meet anybody yet. The fact that it’s on Saturday morning is turning my head 360ยบ. It doesn’t feel like Saturday at all, I feel like my Saturdays are now my Fridays, and when I realize it’s already Sunday, and I feel like I didn’t have time to study at all.
Since I’m still addicted to work out, I’m going to the gym five times a week, every morning, most of the time before class. I also go on Fridays, and since I’m close to college, I go there just to study by myself. I still have a problem to study at home, with the dogs, the cleaning, the distractions, work, and Dennis.
Talking about Dennis, he’s ok, I think. I feel we’re not so “together” anymore because of the little time I spend at home now and also another things. He cooks almost every evening waiting for me to have dinner together. It’s cute. His work seems the same for me, but now he’s also helping me with my EBay stuff, selecting photos and sometimes even shipping things out.
I decided do not pay much attention to my social life this semester, but I just can’t. I mean, I think I’m doing fine and more concentrated in studying more than socializing, but I feel that this is not enough. I’m building a nice social life with some guys from Berkeley, and I’m changing the gym to see if I can work out with more interesting people. But I still have in my mind that this will be my hardest semester and I will not fail.
If I survive this moment of my life, I’ll come back to write more.
Friday, August 13, 2010
SUMMER TRIP – DAY ONE
My vacation didn’t started as perfect as I planned! After Dennis dropped me off at the San Francisco airport, my flight to Washington got delay for more than one hour and a half. I was so nervous because I wouldn’t have time to take my connection to Connecticut. With help from one of the ladies at the United balcony, I changed my seat so I could be the first one to leave the plane and run to the next gate just in time to board. During the flight, I relaxed sure that I would make it; I watched a movie (Mary & Max, animation, really cute) and listened some music. Suddenly I realized that my next flight was about to take off and until that moment the pilot didn’t say anything about landing. I asked the flight attendance what was going on and she say we would probably be landing in the next 45 minutes. 45 minutes!? I freaked out at the plane, and anybody couldn’t do anything for me. I didn’t have a choice but wait until the plane touched the ground.
I run off the plane as soon as the door opened and received the notice that even if I made it on time (which I didn’t) my flight was canceled because of the weather. I saw that I was booked for the next day at 12:20pm and immediately got so piss off. It was around 11:45pm and I decide to stand in line at the United customer services for almost two hours just to hear a very rude lady called Betty, from United Airlines, that they couldn’t do nothing else for me. Gosh I never saw somebody be so rude with customers in my life. She was in line saying that everybody should find a hotel and deal with it; United would never pay for it because it wasn’t their fold. Seriously, she scared off at least 40 people to flight with United Airlines again. I am one of them. I got so tired of that bitch doing such a bad job, scaring off people from the line, that I left the line and called Dennis, asked him to find a hotel room for me online while I call Kate to give the bad news.
I called Kate and let her know that I wouldn’t be in Hartford Airport, Connecticut, tonight and she had to pick me up tomorrow, and I was stuck in Washington for the night. I think she was ok with that. I was really embarrassed about that because I’m staying in her house and I know she’s a very busy woman. Dennis found me a room at Marriot, pretty close to the airport, and I took a cab until there. I finally shake the stress out with a good long bath shower and watched TV until I finally slept. I woke up just in time, took another bath, and leave the hotel back to the airport. I checked in and board a little unhappy because I still had to do that last flight with United Airlines. The airplane left even a little earlier and I was desperate to arrive in Hartford Airport and have a really cold beer while I wait for Kate. I put a DVD in my computer and started watching Sex in the City; Dennis and I decided to start watching from the beginning. After a little less than one hour flying, I noticed everybody looking behind, so I took out my headphones and everybody was asking if there were any doctor on board.
There were this woman all shaking a few chairs behind me. She started having a seizure and it took about ten minutes for her recovered back to normal. Suddenly the pilot announced that we’re landing in the next 15 minutes, I though, “I think we had more 45 minutes of flight…” and he finish saying that we‘re landing at Philadelphia Airport, in am emergency, for the women who just had a seizure. I laugh, all loud. I didn’t believe it was happening with me. We stayed on ground for approximate one and a half hour. The women left the plane and the cleaning company came to clean the chair, and we stayed awaiting permission from the tower to leave the ground. When I though the thinks couldn’t get worse, when we was about to fly another plane from stupid United Airlines had to make an emergency landing in front of us because of some mechanical problems. I promised god never fly with United Airlines again.
I arrived really tired at Kate’s house, took a shower, a nap, called Dennis and relaxed for a few hours until time to meet her friends. Kate’s house is this old condo from hundreds of years ago; it’s a very cute neighborhood full of historic “New England” houses. Kate’s friends, which I didn’t memorize their names yet, are really funny and crazy, but they all seem to be nice people. We went to a club downtown New Haven and had a good time dancing and talking. I enjoy it more than I expect because I kind of didn’t like the music at all. During the night we planned to go to Manhattan Saturday to spend the day, and we all decided to go together.
In one of my times in the restroom, I saw something that reminded me the old times at the parties in Rio: two guys leaving the cabin really high while three others go inside. I would love to be invited but I decided to keep myself invisible and pretend don’t see it; it’s my vacation in my friend’s house and I didn’t want screw my Saturday sleeping the whole day after a night full of drugs. I didn’t want to go back to it at least that in that moment.
We arrived home around three and I slept like a rock until 9:30am.
I run off the plane as soon as the door opened and received the notice that even if I made it on time (which I didn’t) my flight was canceled because of the weather. I saw that I was booked for the next day at 12:20pm and immediately got so piss off. It was around 11:45pm and I decide to stand in line at the United customer services for almost two hours just to hear a very rude lady called Betty, from United Airlines, that they couldn’t do nothing else for me. Gosh I never saw somebody be so rude with customers in my life. She was in line saying that everybody should find a hotel and deal with it; United would never pay for it because it wasn’t their fold. Seriously, she scared off at least 40 people to flight with United Airlines again. I am one of them. I got so tired of that bitch doing such a bad job, scaring off people from the line, that I left the line and called Dennis, asked him to find a hotel room for me online while I call Kate to give the bad news.
I called Kate and let her know that I wouldn’t be in Hartford Airport, Connecticut, tonight and she had to pick me up tomorrow, and I was stuck in Washington for the night. I think she was ok with that. I was really embarrassed about that because I’m staying in her house and I know she’s a very busy woman. Dennis found me a room at Marriot, pretty close to the airport, and I took a cab until there. I finally shake the stress out with a good long bath shower and watched TV until I finally slept. I woke up just in time, took another bath, and leave the hotel back to the airport. I checked in and board a little unhappy because I still had to do that last flight with United Airlines. The airplane left even a little earlier and I was desperate to arrive in Hartford Airport and have a really cold beer while I wait for Kate. I put a DVD in my computer and started watching Sex in the City; Dennis and I decided to start watching from the beginning. After a little less than one hour flying, I noticed everybody looking behind, so I took out my headphones and everybody was asking if there were any doctor on board.
There were this woman all shaking a few chairs behind me. She started having a seizure and it took about ten minutes for her recovered back to normal. Suddenly the pilot announced that we’re landing in the next 15 minutes, I though, “I think we had more 45 minutes of flight…” and he finish saying that we‘re landing at Philadelphia Airport, in am emergency, for the women who just had a seizure. I laugh, all loud. I didn’t believe it was happening with me. We stayed on ground for approximate one and a half hour. The women left the plane and the cleaning company came to clean the chair, and we stayed awaiting permission from the tower to leave the ground. When I though the thinks couldn’t get worse, when we was about to fly another plane from stupid United Airlines had to make an emergency landing in front of us because of some mechanical problems. I promised god never fly with United Airlines again.
I arrived really tired at Kate’s house, took a shower, a nap, called Dennis and relaxed for a few hours until time to meet her friends. Kate’s house is this old condo from hundreds of years ago; it’s a very cute neighborhood full of historic “New England” houses. Kate’s friends, which I didn’t memorize their names yet, are really funny and crazy, but they all seem to be nice people. We went to a club downtown New Haven and had a good time dancing and talking. I enjoy it more than I expect because I kind of didn’t like the music at all. During the night we planned to go to Manhattan Saturday to spend the day, and we all decided to go together.
In one of my times in the restroom, I saw something that reminded me the old times at the parties in Rio: two guys leaving the cabin really high while three others go inside. I would love to be invited but I decided to keep myself invisible and pretend don’t see it; it’s my vacation in my friend’s house and I didn’t want screw my Saturday sleeping the whole day after a night full of drugs. I didn’t want to go back to it at least that in that moment.
We arrived home around three and I slept like a rock until 9:30am.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
It has been 3 weeks since Crea passed away in our arms at the backyard. It was a Tuesday night when she got so bad that Dennis and I decided to call the vet to put her to sleep. The vet came and saw that there was the moment we’re so afraid of. It was a very particular moment and very beautiful… it was definitely sad, but we knew we’re doing the right thing ending the suffering of our dog that we love so much. Our life is getting to the “normal” but we’ll always look her pictures around the house and miss her. We gave her food to her mom Clowe, across the street, and threw away her favorite blanket. The puppies still have her bed but we decide do not give her favorite thing to them. I put her favorite toy on my desk, and I’m not allowing the other puppies play with it. I like to have it there, makes me think about her when she was happy and healthy playing around. Dennis got really depressed and sick after Crea’s death but he seems getting better. We cried a lot, but he stayed in bed for a few days. He got her axes from the vet Friday and we planned to spread in the backyard this weekend but I couldn’t do it. I’m still not ready for it. I touched that wood box and felt her energy around… like, for a moment, I could feel her walking around the house again. I’m not ready to open it and let it go, so now the box is under her beautiful picture in our bedroom.
With the life coming back to normal, we’re returning to our routine. College is going good, just miss one week to end the summer class and I’m so ready for it! This class turned really hard for me and made me afraid of the next classes coming on fall. Next semester I’ll be taking 5 classes plus work. I have no idea if I’ll be able to handle this. This time I’ll need Dennis support more than never.
I’m meeting new people around the city, really nice ones. I meet this guy Brandon who lived in Rio for a while and we actually had a nice talk in Portuguese. I feel really comfortable around him; he seems to be a really nice guy. It’s too earlier to know if I’m making a friend or not, that’s my problem in country; I could considered Brandon my friend if we’re in Brazil, but her, it takes a while. I’ve been in contact with people from last semester too. Some weeks ago Daniel, from geography class, invited me to do yoga with him in a club in Berkeley. I really had a good time and I’m looking forward to do it again.
With the life coming back to normal, we’re returning to our routine. College is going good, just miss one week to end the summer class and I’m so ready for it! This class turned really hard for me and made me afraid of the next classes coming on fall. Next semester I’ll be taking 5 classes plus work. I have no idea if I’ll be able to handle this. This time I’ll need Dennis support more than never.
I’m meeting new people around the city, really nice ones. I meet this guy Brandon who lived in Rio for a while and we actually had a nice talk in Portuguese. I feel really comfortable around him; he seems to be a really nice guy. It’s too earlier to know if I’m making a friend or not, that’s my problem in country; I could considered Brandon my friend if we’re in Brazil, but her, it takes a while. I’ve been in contact with people from last semester too. Some weeks ago Daniel, from geography class, invited me to do yoga with him in a club in Berkeley. I really had a good time and I’m looking forward to do it again.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Between Homeworks and Seizures....
Now I’m feeling busy and very stressed with college, and very sad about our oldest dog Crea, a 12 years old beagle. I just reached the “freezing point” where I can’t do more math problems or think about any problems for today. I admire that kind of people who is able to study “non-stop” for hours and hours… I can’t do that, especially with a sick dog that I love walking sadly around me. My three weeks vacation already passed by and I didn't come back here as I promised to myself. Sorry, I was too busy doing nothing except printing floor plans out of the internet and creating a bender of “future architecture projects,” letting my imagination carrying my focus away to a life too impossible to be experienced in this incarnation. I actually did funny stuff too; I went to the Golden Gate Park with Amanda and we spend a day walking around, I had my fist Manhattan drink, and I went to the SFMOMA by myself to see some exposition. Dennis and I did that travel to Monterrey for a day only, very nice, very simple, very fast. Now it’s time to the reality: Algebra summer classes are too much for a regular human being!
First of all, my book cost $120 dollars used! But them I found another one for $45 on EBay and bought it too, so now I can return the expensive one back to the college’s book store. I have this crazy (in a funny way) Asian teacher called dr. Rick Wing teaching Intermediate Algebra this summer. He is insanely intelligent and extremely fast. Dr. Wing is a very good teacher but we must have to be into what he’s saying and be careful to not step behind his class. I have a test about chapter two of our book tomorrow, and he, believe or not, is already teaching chapter four! I’m not enjoying the way that he has to manage his agenda of tests and I feel that I’m not the only one in class thinking like this. So, today I really felt what an 18 weeks-class compressed in 6 feels like. During the class he asked the class to resolve a few equation of chapter 3.6 and I was doing great until got stuck at the last equation. I decided to erase the whole equation and start over… I resolved it after 5 to 10 minutes trying, but when I looked back to him he was already talking about chapter 4.1! What a hell!? I don’t have time even to think what I’m doing. So now I have homework forever and I’m totally blocked in chapter 3.6. I’ll probably need tutoring tomorrow, since we don’t have time to manage all our doubts in class. Intermediate algebra isn’t that difficult, and the teacher is good… the problem is how fast a math class can be during the summer and the amount of time consumed by the homework. I will think twice before enroll to another math class next summer.
Besides my math problems I have Crea going really bad day by day. After her amazing seizure a couple of months ago, when Dennis and I woke up at 4am with her shaking on the floor, we took her to the vet and she started taking this medicine extremely heavy to stop the seizures, and making her sleep a lot and also a little crazy and very dizzy. Anyway, it stopped the seizures but transformed Crea in a sad looking dog, always sad, slowly, crying and walking with no direction. A few days ago she had another serious seizure that caused more damage in her brain and now she’s worse than never; she got a little blind, and at some moments she seems to be completely blind and start crying. She walks so slowly and powerless and sometimes she can’t support herself and stops, crying. She’s having those “little seizures” and the vet said that it can’t be controlled, and every time she has it, it may cause a little more damage in her brain. I’m seeing her having 5 or 6 a day! She keeping falling in the pond almost daily, she seem lost her memory for a minute or two and forgets where she is. So we can’t let her outside by herself anymore afraid of time when she falls in the deepest area on the pond and can’t swim back to the margin. We can’t let her by herself inside home either because she puppy and pee all over the floor if we don’t command her to go outside. Crea used to be such a happy dog, active, barker, happier, and beautiful. Now it’s even hard to remember those times since the trouble started. Sometimes its difficult to imagine that just passed a few months, because those months with her are being so intense… so sad.
Dennis and I know that brain damage is irreversible, and we know she wont get better… Dennis is having a really bad time with this situation either, more than me of course, because he raised Crea all her life and I just arrive a couple of years ago. I still have hope inside of me and believe that she will at least stop suffering and live the rest of her life quiet and calm, but this idea is fading more and more every day. We already talked about the possibility of putting her to sleep, but something inside me still refuse to think about this possibility. I don’t think I will have courage to take this decision. Dennis has to do it.
So I’m getting sleep now, tomorrow will be a busy day (like the last ones) so it’s better I go to the bed.
First of all, my book cost $120 dollars used! But them I found another one for $45 on EBay and bought it too, so now I can return the expensive one back to the college’s book store. I have this crazy (in a funny way) Asian teacher called dr. Rick Wing teaching Intermediate Algebra this summer. He is insanely intelligent and extremely fast. Dr. Wing is a very good teacher but we must have to be into what he’s saying and be careful to not step behind his class. I have a test about chapter two of our book tomorrow, and he, believe or not, is already teaching chapter four! I’m not enjoying the way that he has to manage his agenda of tests and I feel that I’m not the only one in class thinking like this. So, today I really felt what an 18 weeks-class compressed in 6 feels like. During the class he asked the class to resolve a few equation of chapter 3.6 and I was doing great until got stuck at the last equation. I decided to erase the whole equation and start over… I resolved it after 5 to 10 minutes trying, but when I looked back to him he was already talking about chapter 4.1! What a hell!? I don’t have time even to think what I’m doing. So now I have homework forever and I’m totally blocked in chapter 3.6. I’ll probably need tutoring tomorrow, since we don’t have time to manage all our doubts in class. Intermediate algebra isn’t that difficult, and the teacher is good… the problem is how fast a math class can be during the summer and the amount of time consumed by the homework. I will think twice before enroll to another math class next summer.
Besides my math problems I have Crea going really bad day by day. After her amazing seizure a couple of months ago, when Dennis and I woke up at 4am with her shaking on the floor, we took her to the vet and she started taking this medicine extremely heavy to stop the seizures, and making her sleep a lot and also a little crazy and very dizzy. Anyway, it stopped the seizures but transformed Crea in a sad looking dog, always sad, slowly, crying and walking with no direction. A few days ago she had another serious seizure that caused more damage in her brain and now she’s worse than never; she got a little blind, and at some moments she seems to be completely blind and start crying. She walks so slowly and powerless and sometimes she can’t support herself and stops, crying. She’s having those “little seizures” and the vet said that it can’t be controlled, and every time she has it, it may cause a little more damage in her brain. I’m seeing her having 5 or 6 a day! She keeping falling in the pond almost daily, she seem lost her memory for a minute or two and forgets where she is. So we can’t let her outside by herself anymore afraid of time when she falls in the deepest area on the pond and can’t swim back to the margin. We can’t let her by herself inside home either because she puppy and pee all over the floor if we don’t command her to go outside. Crea used to be such a happy dog, active, barker, happier, and beautiful. Now it’s even hard to remember those times since the trouble started. Sometimes its difficult to imagine that just passed a few months, because those months with her are being so intense… so sad.
Dennis and I know that brain damage is irreversible, and we know she wont get better… Dennis is having a really bad time with this situation either, more than me of course, because he raised Crea all her life and I just arrive a couple of years ago. I still have hope inside of me and believe that she will at least stop suffering and live the rest of her life quiet and calm, but this idea is fading more and more every day. We already talked about the possibility of putting her to sleep, but something inside me still refuse to think about this possibility. I don’t think I will have courage to take this decision. Dennis has to do it.
So I’m getting sleep now, tomorrow will be a busy day (like the last ones) so it’s better I go to the bed.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Semester is over!
This is just a fast posted to express how happy I am with the end of the school semester, even the teachers not releasing the final grades yet. Now it's time to invest my time in my house and my love again.
I started this semester no so good in grades as I should be if I want to transfer to UC Berkeley some day. My first tests were pretty bad because I think I didn't got into the "college responsibilities" on time. Because of that, I had to work really hard to end this semester with a better final grade. For example, in my first test in Algebra I got a D, after that in all my three latest tests I got an A. Believe, it wasn't easy at all to manage four classes plus work and plus life.. However, in Art History I though I would have to work my ass off to follow the class, but at the end I really think it was easy and enjoyable, and I'm absolute sure I'm finishing this semester with an A in arts. My friend Deia also helped me a lot without knowing it; she did incentive me to study just being such a good and smart classmate. She is so dedicated in studying that I decide to follow her. Too bad Writing 6 (which I got an A) probably will be the last class we took together.
I happy to have Dennis helping in his way; he understood that I had to put the College in from of everything during the past months. I just have to thanks him for it because he never complained about me using all of my free time to study and letting him in second plan. He always says that he fells a little guilt because of the fact that I never finished college in Rio. The last past three years we had been working in our long distance relationship a lot trying to finally have a Visa to live together, and every year "I am sure that I was going to United States next semester..." so why to be worry about College? Why sign in to next semester? My life became pretty much on hold during those years. I can't let him be so guilt by himself because his life was on hold as well. That's why I try do not complain about many this I don't think is right in out personal and professional life, such as the money problem we have. I'm glad we have this understanding clearly in our lives.
Now that the semester is over, its time to enjoy the summer, which will be sorter because of the summer class I'll take. I running out of time here, so I decided to always take a summer class between the semesters. This summer will be the second level of Algebra. I'll take just one class, but it will consume my whole mornings from Monday to Thursdays, plus numerously homework's and, of course, work! So, I'll enjoy couple of weeks I have off school to go hang out in San Francisco more (maybe to go to the museums and spend an afternoon at the Golden Gate Park), maybe also to do a fast travel with Dennis, and also to work on the backyard. I miss a lot to do those things. Dennis is planning to take me to Monterrey for a day off office, the grass along the front yard is almost a half of my size, and I need to help Dennis training Kika and Sparky, two new puppies we have now (I know, I know, it's insane we now having three dogs at home).
So, this is my fast post in My Porn Love. Now I have to start reading my summer book "Maturity", from Osho, and wait for this rain stops so I can go home.
I started this semester no so good in grades as I should be if I want to transfer to UC Berkeley some day. My first tests were pretty bad because I think I didn't got into the "college responsibilities" on time. Because of that, I had to work really hard to end this semester with a better final grade. For example, in my first test in Algebra I got a D, after that in all my three latest tests I got an A. Believe, it wasn't easy at all to manage four classes plus work and plus life.. However, in Art History I though I would have to work my ass off to follow the class, but at the end I really think it was easy and enjoyable, and I'm absolute sure I'm finishing this semester with an A in arts. My friend Deia also helped me a lot without knowing it; she did incentive me to study just being such a good and smart classmate. She is so dedicated in studying that I decide to follow her. Too bad Writing 6 (which I got an A) probably will be the last class we took together.
I happy to have Dennis helping in his way; he understood that I had to put the College in from of everything during the past months. I just have to thanks him for it because he never complained about me using all of my free time to study and letting him in second plan. He always says that he fells a little guilt because of the fact that I never finished college in Rio. The last past three years we had been working in our long distance relationship a lot trying to finally have a Visa to live together, and every year "I am sure that I was going to United States next semester..." so why to be worry about College? Why sign in to next semester? My life became pretty much on hold during those years. I can't let him be so guilt by himself because his life was on hold as well. That's why I try do not complain about many this I don't think is right in out personal and professional life, such as the money problem we have. I'm glad we have this understanding clearly in our lives.
Now that the semester is over, its time to enjoy the summer, which will be sorter because of the summer class I'll take. I running out of time here, so I decided to always take a summer class between the semesters. This summer will be the second level of Algebra. I'll take just one class, but it will consume my whole mornings from Monday to Thursdays, plus numerously homework's and, of course, work! So, I'll enjoy couple of weeks I have off school to go hang out in San Francisco more (maybe to go to the museums and spend an afternoon at the Golden Gate Park), maybe also to do a fast travel with Dennis, and also to work on the backyard. I miss a lot to do those things. Dennis is planning to take me to Monterrey for a day off office, the grass along the front yard is almost a half of my size, and I need to help Dennis training Kika and Sparky, two new puppies we have now (I know, I know, it's insane we now having three dogs at home).
So, this is my fast post in My Porn Love. Now I have to start reading my summer book "Maturity", from Osho, and wait for this rain stops so I can go home.
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