Letting Go

Lately I've been working on my difficult in letting people go away. The fact that my new friend Brandon is moving to Oregon with his boyfriend hurts me a little... I know him just for a few months, but come on, we're in America. Do you know how hard is to make a friend in this place?
Everything started with Flavia, a Brazilian girl I met when I arrived here. As Amanda, Flavia became a really close friend of mine, and really fast. The difference between Amanda and Flavia is that Amanda is still here. Flavia went back to Brazil a few months later... I'm not making a big drama here. After Flavia, was Gabi, Pedro, Daniel, Taty, Sil, and Marina (Am I forgetting somebody?) and I started with this feeling that the kind of friendship I had in Brazil is impossible here. Everybody go away, back to Brazil, some day.
I started thinking about people who are still here, Amanda, Dijaz, Deia... and they are all Brazilians, good friends, but I had putted in my mind that all Brazilians go away some day.
So, after being a little depressed about that, I putted a goal in my life: make an american friends, gay, and at my age. Sometimes I think it is easier to won the lottery. I met people who were really nice with me and never showed up again, I met those who completely ignored me, those who want just sex, those who look at me as a real alien... and I met Brandon (white american from Minnesota!) and his boyfriend Allan in a really good way, and we became friends fast, and I was glad about the fact that there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and hanging out with Americans would guarantee a good friendship for some years.
Well, now I know that I forgot something that is really common in the American culture: Americans move a lot.
So, A few weeks ago, Allan was accepted to an university at Oregon and they're moving in February. That was quite a shock. I started wondering again about the fact that there are no friendships here as I have in Brazil, where people don't usually move. All my worries about having superficial friendships in this country is now back.
And do you know what? Fuck it! I got mad with myself. I've being such a drama queen... I need to work on my fears of letting people go.
Brandon and Allan are my friends here, and they'll be my friends there.
I know I can call Flavia and met her, as good friends, some day.
I know I can go visit Marina because she's my friend and I miss her.
Just before start thinking about that, I read something in the book The Power of Now. I read that after understanding the life situations, and being in peace with ourselves, "Things, people, or conditions that you though you need for happiness now come to you with no struggle or effort on your part, and you are free to enjoy and appreciate them - while they last. All those things, of course, will still pass away, cycles will come and go, but with dependency gone there is no fear of loss anymore. Life flows with ease."
That part mess my head at that moment, and I couldn'd related it with my fear of loosing people that I like... and I may will. But what can I do? This is life. I have to be honest, I'm having a good time now. College is going great, I'm able to save money to my green card process, I'm healthy, and I can say that I did an American gay friend at my age. All that means that I'm having a good moment, but still can't relax and enjoy it. I have to change that. If my goal for 2010 was to make an American friend, for 2011 my goal will be learning how to let things, people, and conditions go.